THORNS
NJH’s virtual world is one of carefully curated visuals, framed by dark imagery and accented by Berettas. His online presence is a dark moodboard that the mysterious fashion girlies would kill for. It feels like an ode to the medieval, maybe even the macabre- beautiful and haunting. My original reaction to the work was strong. It still is, as one of the pieces has leapt from my screen and is now in front of me as I write this at Null HQ.
Beyond the initial visual impact, the pieces are each a unique display of attention to detail and understanding of scale. Each piece is created using a painstaking process: a thick coil pot is made before individual thorns are attached, followed by tens of hours of shaving the now intricate surface.
NJH and I met over email with a batch of questions about his works and upcoming gallery shows before setting a date to check out his studio. We made a visit to NJH’s neat garage studio, expecting it to be as portrayed- cigarette butts, ceramic dust, scraps of designs and writing all over the walls. There were less ash trays than I thought there would be.
The below interview was conducted via email prior to meeting. Responses are as they were originally written, with omissions of less pertinent information and strikethroughs of details that contradict later conversations.
Kailin Brousseau (KB): Where and when did your ceramics begin? Was it your first medium?
Justin Nam (NJH): My work started in May of 2022, on a $50 Costco table, in my garage with 2 cars parked inside. My actual major is in computer graphics design. That was my first medium and where most of the basic “artist” training was done.
It was a concrete foundation and till this day I stick to the tradition from those days. Mainly the numbers game: make 10, pick the best 5, make 10 of those 5, pick the best 3, make 10 of those, pick the best 2, make 10 of each and pick the best one. It’s hard to beat that kind of a relentless system, and knowing that I began my first chapter in ceramics.
However, art has been something I've been engaging in my whole life. My mother was an exhibition ceramic artist, so I spent a lot of time in the “back stage” in those little rooms where artists eat real quick at a large gallery. I was so used to the art scene that I didn't think much of it, nor did I see the beauty in it until I grew up.
Fast forward to 17 I started painting little things on the one day off from a serving job. That’s where I learned the physical work ethic. People there lived on Advil, alcohol, and cigarettes. From 9:30am to 11:30pm, for 6, even 7 days sometimes.
I cried almost every other night when my parents picked me up and went back in the morning like nothing happened. I learned here that the show must really go on because it isn’t the customers business what your situation is. I still stick to that mindset now- all those nights crying hysterically then getting to work as soon as I got ahold of my breath. The point is that those reasons don’t matter now and that I was working. That's what mattered then and matters now even after all this time.
Ceramics drew me in because it was physical. No need for imagination to take place for you to take in the work. It’s there, you see, feel it, it's on the same plane (3D) as us. And I wanted to see what my mom’s obsession with this clay was all about. Seen it all my life, but this was the first time I wanted to know why.
KB: Were there previous iterations of your current style that helped to develop it?
NJH: My first concept was ‘hold it if you can but be prepared to bleed’. These pots had blades with red glaze on the edges to make it look like blood from someone previously holding it. At this time I felt strongly and guilty about realizing I’ve hurt the only people who really held me down. The next ideation was the thorns.
KB: Does the symmetry you prioritize in your work apply to other areas of your life? Do you require balance or is that isolated within your work?
NJH: Yes and no. Obviously there has got to be some symmetry in some parts in all of our lives, but I would consider myself on the messier side than the average person.
KB: How has the purpose of creating affected your personal life?
NJH: It made my life very boring in the healthiest way ever. But healthy doesn’t always taste good, and that pretty much sums up how it affected my personal life.
Working 16 hours a day puts everything outside of work in its correct priorities regardless of your desires. You have to eat well to work long, have good thoughts so the work doesn’t get ruined, and have good friends who can actually support you during these times (sometimes financially!). Surprisingly you can really push not sleeping to its absolute limits and the damage won’t be too insane.
With all of the harmful desires gone, so were the desires for laughter, a good time and all leisure outside of my own space. But I know it will be worth it, even if I go insane I know I'll die happier this way and that’s what matters to me.
KB: Describe the feelings that come with opening the kiln.
NJH: Painters say they feel very emotional when they finish a painting and that is what confirms the painting is actually finished. We (ceramic people) are blessed to feel this twice. Once when we finish making the piece, and the second time when we open the kiln after the glaze firing.
Obviously I don't exactly know what this feels like, but it feels like my 7 year old daughter is running into my arms after I've had a seriously long day. I am proud of her, adoring her, and happy that she’s here in one piece. Same with the work when it comes out of my kiln. Not that I am comparing the two but the emotional side of it, I'm assuming, is very similar.
I also tend to think about my entire journey thus far almost every time I open the kiln. Especially the beginning.
This made me feel very alone with my pieces, and sometimes I wish I could speak to them like Wilson from the movie ‘cast away’. These ideas and past memories swoop under my brain every time I open the kiln, but I hope one day I can just open it and be happy then and there.
KB: Can you touch on your spirituality? How does it relate to your work and journey as an artist?
NJH: There are corners we don't look at because it makes us feel very uncomfortable and usually that’s because there you find signs of a maker. Something non-organic where it should only be purely organic. Sometimes I'm more comfortable there because that sure does explain a lot of things.
I turned Christian when I was digging very deeply into what was under every rug in our society. Somehow, it led to evil derived from Satanic influence. Yes, this sounds very presumptuous but look closely and there are signs you cannot ignore. Once I reached that bottom, I knew there had to be an opposing side that the bad people did not want to associate with.
Then I got baptized. And it was much more serious than I thought with none of the performance you see in videos.. Being dunked in a pool of water was just a show compared to what it really meant to be baptized. My pastor made sure to meet me privately for a long period of time to make sure where my heart was. Then I had to study to pass a verbal test in front of my church members.
I'm bringing this up because this kind of baptism put an end to a drug addiction I felt so hopelessly trapped in. We always saw, and spoke of drug addiction but having it yourself is very different. Shit feels very very impossible to get away from when it has a strong grip on you. But being baptized and studying to pass a test really did it for me and it was so effective that I'm still surprised it worked.
Since the beginning, I have attached crosses on the insides of all my pots because I want nothing but the people who take these home to feel safe and accepted.I am not preaching, not forcing any ideas upon anyone. It's like undercover-evangelism. Bad people come with masks hiding their true intentions and so I too wanted to come in silence and unnoticed with my good intentions. It's truly not about which religion, but more so about the idea that I come in peace.
I think it also gave me some breathing room. Prior to being religious everyday felt like a hunt and things felt very fragile. Grounding my work with a strong christian spine allowed myself to take my work very seriously and the somewhat ancient-feel rib out from the work itself. Some say it’s scary and looks like a thing from the depths of hell, but this is a compliment for me! Angels always told us not to be afraid of their looks, and I hope people can see that with my work too.
KB: There is a theme of guns paired with your work within your Instagram content- why?
NJH: You’re probably asking why there is that form of violence shown in my imagery. But to understand this you need to understand everything else.
Being misunderstood all my life, I think the misunderstanding from people is a part of who I am now. So to present a gun that causes one to question my intentions, more often negative than positive, is an honest representation of my identity.
KB: You have a rule- nothing goes beyond two repairs. Are there more of your own rules while producing a piece?
NJH: I try to make the piece as stable as possible. I would hate for those who take these home to feel anxious about it tipping over or falling over from an earthquake or children bumping into it.
And everything done to the piece is reasoned thoroughly before execution, if there are changes, I try to attempt as many ways before settling with the one. Every placement has to make sense to me, (meaning it has to look good at the end of the day regardless as to what I want to do).
But I think the two repair rule is the biggest rule. Other than that it’s just clocking in everyday and trying to finish as many as I can in a month.
